How can I accept something that I don’t want?

302a8a6e5abbfe76c722d45d23938bbb

In the workshop that I have been attending, we talked about another type if therapy a couple of weeks ago. It is called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT. One of the things said to introduce his therapy was that it required the person to accept their thoughts without trying to change them. How could I be ok with a thought or emotion that I perceive as negative? I was intrigued by it. So, I thought I would share it with you.

First of all, what is ACT? Well, it is exactly what it implies. It calls on the person to accept the things they are dealing with, whether they be good, bad, or indifferent; and commit to an action based on their values. The letters A, C, and T can also be given phrases to assist in this process:

A – Accept your reaction and be present

C – Choose a valued direction

T – Take action

If you remember, I previously posted about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. A major difference between CBT and ACT is that in CBT, techniques are employed to combat and change irrational or uncomfortable thoughts. In ACT, a person is asked to sit with or accept those uncomfortable thoughts and learn how to live with them. I think both CBT and ACT can be employed in different situations for different people. While looking for more information, I came across 6 core principles of ACT. They are:

Acceptance

allowing oneself to experience thoughts without attempting to change them

Cognitive Fusion

“attempts to change the way one interacts with or relates to thoughts” Instead of taking the thought “I am worthless” literally, ACT would challenge you to take the thought as just that, a thought. This gives the thoughts less power and believability

Being Present

allowing oneself to experience the here and now without judgement

Self as a Context

finding a transcendent self which allows one to “be aware of one’s own flow of experiences without attachment to them or an investment in which particular experiences occur”

Values

what is most important to the true self, these are not objects that can be obtained, but qualities

Committed Action

actions based on the values of the individual

ACT often employs mindfulness to help one be in the present moment. What is mindfulness? According to none other than Wikipedia, there have been many definitions of mindfulness. “Mindfulness refers to a psychological quality that involves:

bringing one’s complete attention to the present experience on a moment-to-moment basis,

paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally,

a kind of nonelaborative, nonjudgmental, present-centered awareness in which each thought, feeling, or sensation that arises in the attentional field is acknowledged and accepted as it is.”

Mindfulness is a lot like what we call meditation. There are so many awesome resources to employ this practice. I have recently come across an app that I like. It is called Mindfulness daily. It presents a lesson each day and gives you opportunities during the day to pause and get back to the present.

All-in-all, ACT seems to be an interesting approach to therapy. Have any of you had an experience with it? I would love to hear about it!

Leave a comment