How can I accept something that I don’t want?

In the workshop that I have been attending, we talked about another type if therapy a couple of weeks ago. It is called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT. One of the things said to introduce his therapy was that it required the person to accept their thoughts without trying to change them. How could I be ok with a thought or emotion that I perceive as negative? I was intrigued by it. So, I thought I would share it with you.

First of all, what is ACT? Well, it is exactly what it implies. It calls on the person to accept the things they are dealing with, whether they be good, bad, or indifferent; and commit to an action based on their values. The letters A, C, and T can also be given phrases to assist in this process:

A – Accept your reaction and be present

C – Choose a valued direction

T – Take action

If you remember, I previously posted about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. A major difference between CBT and ACT is that in CBT, techniques are employed to combat and change irrational or uncomfortable thoughts. In ACT, a person is asked to sit with or accept those uncomfortable thoughts and learn how to live with them. I think both CBT and ACT can be employed in different situations for different people. While looking for more information, I came across 6 core principles of ACT. They are:

Acceptance

allowing oneself to experience thoughts without attempting to change them

Cognitive Fusion

“attempts to change the way one interacts with or relates to thoughts” Instead of taking the thought “I am worthless” literally, ACT would challenge you to take the thought as just that, a thought. This gives the thoughts less power and believability

Being Present

allowing oneself to experience the here and now without judgement

Self as a Context

finding a transcendent self which allows one to “be aware of one’s own flow of experiences without attachment to them or an investment in which particular experiences occur”

Values

what is most important to the true self, these are not objects that can be obtained, but qualities

Committed Action

actions based on the values of the individual

ACT often employs mindfulness to help one be in the present moment. What is mindfulness? According to none other than Wikipedia, there have been many definitions of mindfulness. “Mindfulness refers to a psychological quality that involves:

bringing one’s complete attention to the present experience on a moment-to-moment basis,

paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally,

a kind of nonelaborative, nonjudgmental, present-centered awareness in which each thought, feeling, or sensation that arises in the attentional field is acknowledged and accepted as it is.”

Mindfulness is a lot like what we call meditation. There are so many awesome resources to employ this practice. I have recently come across an app that I like. It is called Mindfulness daily. It presents a lesson each day and gives you opportunities during the day to pause and get back to the present.

All-in-all, ACT seems to be an interesting approach to therapy. Have any of you had an experience with it? I would love to hear about it!

Me Irrational? No Way. . .

So, at the beginning of this semester, I decided to be proactive. I set up an appointment at the counseling center on campus in order to stay one step ahead of my emotions. I went in and met with one of the counselors on campus, and he recommended I attend a workshop each week for 5 weeks.

Our first week, we talked about a type of therapy called CBT, more specifically REBT. In this approach, there is an activating event, or adversity, that causes an irrational belief. The irrational belief causes consequences. The goal of CBT is to teach the person to recognize, combat, and change irrational beliefs.

So, what is an irrational belief? Well, there are three types of irrational beliefs: catastrophizing, demands, and human rating. Catastrophizing is when something is believed to be horrible, awful, terrible, etc. These thoughts are blown way out of proportion. For example, Sue found out that she got a C on her test. The irrational belief would be that getting a C on a test is terrible, and she is going to flunk the course, and on and on. Demands are when we tell ourselves that we must/have to do something. Sue, for example, has told herself that she must get an A on her test. If Sue doesn’t get an A, what is going to happen? Then there is human rating. This is the concept that one person can be better or more good than another. This is very detrimental when we rate ourselves. For example, because Sue got a C on her test, she believes that she is less than others in the course.

So, armed with information, we were tasked with recognizing and combatting our irrational beliefs. That is easier said than done. These irrational beliefs have quite a bit of emotional weight, and it is difficult to change the way you think. So, like a good little student, I went through my week paying attention to my thoughts. I knew I had some of these irrational beliefs, but I was shocked at how many. I caught myself on so many occasions employing not just one, but sometimes all three types of irruption beliefs at once. I would tell my self that I was never going to succeed and that I was less than others because of that. Then, catching myself in that thought, I would think “that’s awful, I’m never going to be able to change the way I think.” Well, that thought was counterproductive!

It is easy to recognize irrational beliefs. The hard part come in combatting them. I noticed that after a little while, I was better able to come up with a rational belief to replace the irrational one. Like, instead of saying that I will never succeed, I can tell myself that I have already succeeded in so many ways. I also noticed that many irrational thoughts are along the same lines. So, I think that if I can identify my common irrational beliefs, then I can find rational beliefs to replace them. I will then be prepared when irrational beliefs come into my mind.

I guess we’ll see how it goes!